Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
