Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Can you bring me the toilet please
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Please don't give away my fajitas
we should paint friendship bongs
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