is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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