do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
