I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
