mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
