hotel room ftw
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
