Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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