worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
