ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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