We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize