I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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