For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
