Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
