You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
