so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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