1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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