You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
