I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
