physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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