I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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