Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
