I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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