If i come over, it means nothing
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
