I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
