absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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