69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I think my fart just growled at me.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
