you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
