I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
