so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
