Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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