Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
