my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
