I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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