he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
