alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
