I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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