You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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