We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
