It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
