Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
