security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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