I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
