we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
