i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
