Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
