do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
it glows. i had to have it.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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