the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
