i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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