do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
