goodnight i made you a song goodbye
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
