i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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